who knows

So I understand why in class we are "seeing" the objects we are doing in our minds but I'm starting to get rather antsy for actually have objects and not seeing them. I think this has something to do with the fact that sometimes I still feel awkward in class because I don't think I fully grasp what we are supposed to be doing or how to do it. I also think I have a problem coming up with ideas on how to do something and when we get thrusted in front of people with no idea of what we are doing it kind of has a way of deflating my self esteem. Now this doesn't happen all the time but I guess I wish we had something more tangible to work with because I think it will help me with my insecurity types of issues. I've never been a really self confident person and not knowing what to do all the time intensifies those feelings a great deal.